I was terrified and excited in equal measure at all the things that were happening, changing, getting better.
I had a meltdown on my birthday, and on Christmas Eve just because things aren't how they used to be.
My
boyfriend took me to my favourite place, we toasted marshmallows over a
fire and stared into space. We ran in to the sea, up to our knees.
I cried on my own after receiving my book deal and then got a little bit tipsy and let out the biggest squeal.
I packed and posted thousands of parcels, all full of lots and lots of sparkles.
I
did stuff I never thought I could or would. Live radio interviews on
BBC and got asked to speak live on ITV (I didn't agree). Spoke on a
panel of creative women, missed my train ...and got tipsy again.
I put a few thousand happy newspapers for free... in hospitals, care homes, on trains and planes.
I made friends with a homeless man who put things into perspective, and a lady on a train who said we'd meet up again.
I thought I couldn't do it, and told myself "I can do it". And guess what, I did it.
I spent most time alone. But I guess I've grown.
I didn't walk or read enough but I did get through a book, which is usually tough.
I didn't sleep enough... or focus on me and stuff.
I received messages from kind strangers who were sometimes like angels.
My cards have been published and will be on sale to the public.
I watched my friends be brave. I forgave.
I chased down a road to stop my favourite Ice cream van (that's probably the only time I ran).
I
found a man on the underground who seemed to be having some sort of
breakdown. I held his hands and gave him a hug. He wasn't okay, and I
couldn't just walk away.
I went bowling twice. I ate food I like.
I witnessed the most sparkly wedding. And watched my friend give her brave Dad a send off to heaven.
I tried to be there for those who matter and realised you can solve a lot of things with laughter.
I started writing my book... what the f_____
I was probably too busy, to the point where I got dizzy.
I had difficult conversations. Not many celebrations.
I
sketched ideas, drawings and wrote words that weren't boring. I've done
this my entire life ...but was unclear whether it could end up being my
career.
I did my best to keep my head up.
I didn't give up.
I realised that people don't always stay, and that's okay.
