1. Find what makes you happy, not what you think should make you happy (and do more of that!)
It's easy to feel totally bombarded most days by things that should be making us happy, the latest gadget, the cutest outfit on instagram, the newest app, trend etc. What we must recognise is that the world we're living in isn't designed to make us happy, instead it tells us what we're missing out on, what we should have and what will make our lives richer and happier for whatever reason they want to give you. Don't get me wrong, some brands and companies really do want to help make you happier or make your life easier, my whole Happy News brand is built on making others happy and finding ways through each newspaper and product/card of making more of us smile on the good and bad days alike... but my point is, try and really focus on the things that make YOU happy. What gives you that little fuzzy feeling in your tummy, what do you dream of doing one day, what do you really want out of life? Because I'm pretty sure if you want it enough, you can hold off on the next purchase or take some time to focus on a positive change in your world. What makes you happy is totally unique to you and that's what makes it so magic. On some days a homemade cookie will make me happy, like really really happy, other days focusing on moving my business to the next level and actually seeing progress makes me happy, and then on another day windy walks by the seaside will make me the happiest... all of these things are totally different and I can't do all of them all of the time but I know my happy places and what I can do to help my mood on the days when things become a little cloudy.
2. Unfollow negativity (IRL too!)
This seems like the most obvious thing for me but a whole heap of people don't do it for some reason. Quite simply, in the same way you don't need to be friends with people you don't like you CAN unfollow anyone on social media who makes you feel unhappy, uneasy or constantly puts you down. I get why people follow certain motivational accounts for fitness etc. which is totally fine but not if every time you're scrolling through social media it makes you feel worthless or like you're not 'doing enough'. I had a similar thing with a couple of people recently on instagram who quite honestly told me they'd had to unfollow me, for various reasons, but the main thing was that watching me working crazy hours at my business BTS on my Instagram story was making them feel like they "weren't doing enough" with their own endeavours... They weren't doing or saying it in a nasty way but it wasn't helping the way they were already feeling. The thing is, nobody sees absolutely everything online... I'm not likely to post me having a meltdown at 4am or even having some chill out time so people have a real distorted perception of what they see online, even if they think they're seeing a lot like on my account for example... when actually they're not even seeing a fraction of what's going on in my world. So, take a break from accounts causing you stress or worry, you can always follow them again when you feel in a better place! I started sharing my letters and scribbles on instagram because I was going through a bad time a few years ago and I knew there would be other people wanting a little positive note to read on the not-so-great days. While I'm on the subject, unfollow news apps/turn off your notifications for news apps if they cause you nothing but sadness and fear! Watch or listen to the news once a day/week if you want to know what's going on in the world but don't have it popping up on your phone all day every day if it's having a negative impact on you and your mental health.
3. Be the change etc. etc.
I know we hear this A LOT and I don't even know if Gandhi actually said it but it's such a simple message which I think absolutely every one of us can get on board with. Be the change you wish to see in the world, it's easy to see something that's wrong or that could be changed and sit back and wait for somebody else to do it. From the simplest things like picking up litter or smiling at a stranger to something as huge as setting up a charity or organisation, be passionate about stuff and use it to yours and everybody else's advantage... it really does have a ripple effect on more people than you'll probably realise.
4. Embrace the bullshit
There's a lot of bullshit in the world, I'll spare you the very long list but feel free to think up your own... There's always going to be somebody who doesn't get 'it' or you, there will always be at least one person who has an issue with that thing you said or did... especially on social media. There will always be a nasty comment, an unnecessary remark or down-right offensive person, it's life and we kind of need the balance at times to remind us to be the opposite of those people. No good usually comes from rising to these people but I will sometimes say something if I think it/they are totally out of order, usually in real life... as I've started to realise that people on social media are almost always saying something just to spark a reaction from you, so it's not worth your time of day. Block and carry on with your day is usually a good option... but it's not always as easy of that. Try and look at crappy situations from an outsiders perspective, what would you do if it was your best friend for example? What would you say or do to make that situation a tiny bit better... Sometimes when we're in the middle of any crappy situation it can be hard to take a step back but it's important to give the whole thing some perspective and think practically about it. Our very best can come from our very worst, so keep going. As (apparently) Winston Churchill once said; "If you're going through hell, keep going".
5. Don't give up... Or if you do, pick yourself back up
Following on from the previous point, this seems like a good point to end on. Don't give up and if you do, pick yourself back up... because nobody else will likely do it for you. Don't expect things to go smoothly, ever! There's this little thing called the universe who waits until you think everything is rosy and BAM! does something to tip absolutely everything upside down, sometimes we need that jiggle in our lives but sometimes we really don't, so it's about finding the balance after you're hit with something super unexpected. Some of us hold on to the past so much that we can't actually move forward and see the exciting opportunities ahead. You and the world are constantly evolving, you must allow those changes to happen to be able to grow and learn from the past rather than holding on to negative feelings or resentment to a certain person/thing. Stop blaming others for what you're going through, it's sometimes easier to put the blame on others rather than taking the responsibility yourself. But you are the only person who can change the way you're feeling or more so your attitude to what you're going through/have been through. Pain and sadness makes you stronger and mistakes and heartbreak make you wiser, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Step out of your comfort zone every now and then, do something you never thought you could or would do, (In 2015 I went to America on my own for nearly 4 weeks after a really tough year and it was the best thing I ever did, it put everything into perspective and set my head straight right before I decided to start up The Happy Newspaper!) you might surprise yourself or end up down a different path of possibility!
And after all of that... Keep smiling,
Emily x
